18 And Learning

It is kind of intimidating to grow up. There are so many new things to learn and grasp. I decided that I should probably keep a journal that records all the new things that I’m learning. Perhaps it will help another young girl who is trying to walk farther into womanhood. This is my first year away from home. I cannot explain all the different emotions I have had over the last couple of months. I work at Wolf Mountain Christian Camp and am learning so many different things. In the mornings, I take care of the staff member’s children in what we call the Kiddy Korner.  In the afternoons I work in the office. The morning is definitely my favorite part of the work day! During the first few months that I was away from home, I missed sharing a room with my sisters. There would be nights that I just wanted to talk to them or listen to their breathing as they slept. There was one night that I cried because I missed my younger brother. I missed talking to my mom. I was glad that Dad had taught me about what it meant to grow up, but it didn’t exactly mean that I enjoyed every minute of it.  The first few months were hard, but near the end of the first semester, I began to enjoy the little things of where I was. I saw how the pavement looked after it rained really hard. I saw the leaves that littered the road when I went to check the mail. I came to enjoy the cold weather that meant I could make cappuccino and sit and read. I found that little girl smiles in the Kiddy Korner were worth every hour that I worked in there. I found joy in improving my workplace. I can’t say that I enjoyed every day or that I always had a good attitude about where I was. However, I had been learning, albeit slowly, that a woman who was discontent would fall prey to the attacks of Satan. I began to name the little things in my day that I was thankful for. There were so many! I had lists of things to be thankful for! It’s hard to have a bad day when you see so many things that you can be thankful for. Wolf Mountain is such a beautiful place and I’m surrounded by people who have a united purpose to glorify God. I’m in the second semester now and I have moments of this quiet, contented joy. I sit there and I wonder “Now, why am I feeling this joy?” There can only be one answer to that question. I’m exactly where God wants me to be and joy is always found in doing His will. Over the last couple weeks, I’ve been watching one of the little girls in Kiddy Korner begin to crawl. She puts herself into the crawling position and attempts to move forward. At the beginning, she would give up and go back to her sitting position. But over the past week, she keeps trying and has even moved several strides forward. I think of myself a lot like that little girl. When it comes to womanhood, I’m just beginning the journey. I’m not going to know everything and I’m going to fail often. But just as that little girl kept trying, I’m going to keep moving forward. I’m going to absorb what I am able from those who have walked before me and I will keep growing. I’d much rather resolve to learn than to be satisfied with just staying the same. I am 18 and learning.

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