Who I Really Am

sierrab-33I am not afraid of death. I’m not. I do, however, sink at the thought of others in this world fumbling around for the truth. Believing in somethings and spaces and things that may just get them to the “other side”. It’s heartbreaking to know that there are people facing terminal illness and constant pain without the hope that I have in Christ.

I am not handicapped in any way. I have hope beyond hope….a peace that passes all understanding. I will neither stand alone, nor die alone. I have a future beyond the inevitable. I am not a passing nothing that breaks through the void and disappears without a trace.

People struggle to make a difference. They struggle to leave a mark. But, for me, I take great joy in the fact that I serve the One who has made the greatest difference in my life. I love the One who has marks on His hands from the sinner that I am. I don’t struggle with where I will go, who to follow, the life I will leave, and the legacy that will slowly die in time.

I don’t have to wonder. I know. My mind is completely at rest, my heart is drowned in the sweetest peace that a person can ever know. But, there are people just like me, who have no hope. They wander through life experiencing the trials and feeling emptier than the ocean with no water. They have nothing to live for. They have no security in what happens after death and no stamina to withstand life, because they are weak.

I am weak too, but the glorious truth is that I have God’s strength. Nothing in the whole world can separate me from Him. I am set apart for Him. I am wrapped in His hand, never to leave, never to fall away, and never to get lost in the shuffle of life. It is nothing of me that makes me different than “them”. I am, just as they are…a fallen sinner in need of Christ. The only reason I have peace and joy is because of Christ.

I must remember that I am not entitled to some position of “greatness” because I have hope, and I have security. I can never become proud of how my life is “turning out”, because I am nothing. I can do nothing. All I am….all I am...is because of Christ. The moment I lose sight of who I really am, I will become the hypocritical, stoic, proud Christian existing in the strength I think I own. I own nothing. I have nothing. I can give nothing.

Nothing without Christ.

And, that is what makes life worth living: Christ. Because, everything I have is because of Him. Everything I can give to others is because of Him. Everything about my life is all because of Him. I ache for those who shuffle through life lost between the questions and the voids. I literally hurt for them, because they have souls. They are like me. Everything that they are is everything that I am. The only difference between us is that I have chosen Christ.

I am not some great person, and my life is not a put together picture because I did something amazing and right. No. If I have a life, it is because of Christ. If I am blessed, it is because of Him. If I can breathe, it is because He has given me breath. If I can be, it is because He is.

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