Fighting for Worth

fighting worthI think we all fight for it. Perhaps, it’s the war against ourselves. Or simply the need to succeed. We fight to be worth it. We fight to be worth something. And we fight hard for it. The pressure to be the best at something overtakes us. We stay up late, get up early, pin inspiration, post motivational articles, write to-do lists, endlessly search for that one thing that we can do effortlessly, and willingly spend our time to become that better part of us.

But I think one of the greatest lessons that I ever learned from my best friend is simply to walk with God day by day. We get so caught up doing this or that. We have to better our appearance. We have to say just the right things. Exercise just the right way. Write something that will relate to everyone. We just have to be awesome all the time. And it’s not like we are trying to do our best for God either. We are just trying to do our best for us. Because we want to be worth something. We want to walk into a room and be worth it.

I think that I hit some of my most “worthless” times last year when I was seemingly sick every 2 weeks. And struggling with daily pain. I just felt like nothing. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t work out like I used to. I couldn’t go to work when I needed to be there. I couldn’t go to social things because I just had too much pain. I felt so below my potential, because I knew that in prior years, I could do so much more.

I’m so glad that God took away the abilities that I used to have. At this point, I can’t lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. I am physically incapable. But last year, I would tearfully tell him….”I just feel like I’m half of what I should be. Sometimes, I wonder how much more I could get done if I didn’t have all this pain.” But then Ben taught me that all I need to do is walk with God. Every day. All I have to really fight for is my walk with God.

I don’t have to walk into the room and everyone know that I am worth something. I have to walk into a room with love for everyone standing there.

I don’t have to worry about what others will think or say when I can’t make it to social events. I just have to pray for them in fervor.

I don’t have to write amazing blog posts to be worth something. I simply have to write for God. Every word within this white space must be used at its full potential for my God.

I don’t have to be  dating, engaged, or married to have any sort of standing on social media. I just have to be clearly using my social media to further God’s glory.

I don’t have to find that one thing that will define me in this world. My life just needs to justly define the God who saved me from my wicked darkness.

Someone recently told me, “I just feel like I have to be worth something to be noticed. I feel like I have to be good at something to be seen.” Ah, my dear, I think we all feel that way.

But the real issue is not that we fight to be worth something, but that we fight for what is worth it: our walk walk with God.

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man” Ecclesiastes 12:13

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2 thoughts on “Fighting for Worth

  1. momma bug says:

    This is really good stuff Sierra. Interesting timing too. Just a couple days ago I was sitting cross-legged in the middle of clothes I was sorting for AJ and some gifts I was trying to wrap for my girls; all atop the toys which already littered the floor and beside a wall of rubbermaid bins filled with unpacked household items. In this posture I was talking with the Lord and said “Lord, I’d really like to be somebody. Somebody everyone admires, who has skills that shine and gifts others enjoy… but I’m pretty sure I’d be an unbearably prideful person, so I guess I’m glad I’m not “somebody” and I hope you don’t let that happen.”
    I can’t help saying such things with a reluctant sigh and a grimace, but then I laugh because I know what is most important to Him – that I am nothing and that He is everything! He’s made it quite clear that he values the weak, the weary, the small. And in these things he “confounds the wise”. I suppose it’s obvious that if anyone see’s worth in our lives, since we are nobody-important’s, that worth has to be God’s glory revealed. Wahoo to that!

    I hope you don’t mind me sharing a link from a blog post my friend wrote today. (again – my heart overflows with the timing of all this!). Christabelle is my friend through another friend and I love her heart dearly. I hope you enjoy her too 🙂

    http://allestadfamily.blogspot.hu/2014/12/in-secret-place.html

    Love you little sister~
    ~Analene

  2. sierravbrock says:

    Thank you for sharing this blog post, Analene! I am so thankful that God, in His sovereignty, works in thousands of hearts at one time. He convicts us & lovingly guides us back to the path He has intricately designed for us. I enjoy reading through your comments, Analene & this particular personal story that you shared is so encouraging & easy to relate to. God is so good. I’m so thankful to be serving Him!

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