“Oh, You’re in the HONEYMOON Stage!”

Why yes we are, thank you very much! And we are going to stay right here as long as we want. Also that condescending tone isn’t going to bother me at all. 🙂

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Because I have learned that I just have to embrace the stage that I’m in, no matter what people are saying. I have to purpose to enjoy these moments in their entirety. I have to accept the learning curves and the difficulties, the first-time, wide-eyed experiences, and the joy that this, this is my journey.

 I have to be OK that people are going to give me those condescending tones and the “just you wait for the bad stuff” looks.

And you know what else?

I also need to be confident to share what I am learning in life even though it may be a “no, duh” moment for someone older and wiser than myself. I have to be humble about the learning curves and be willing to open them up to others.

I have to accept that I’m not a know-it-all (never will be) in the marriage thing or the womanhood thing, or the life thing! But I don’t have to hide behind the “Oh, I’ll wait until I’m wiser before I broach that subject“. And I certainly don’t need to shrink in the embarrassment of “Oh, I should have realized that beforehand.”  

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I have to be settled and content with the life moments I am in now, but I also need to appreciate that many of my friends & family are in a different stage of life and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.

On Facebook, myself and many of my newlywed friends are posting photos of their first Christmas trees and all that holiday lovey-dovey stuff that’s just plain awesome and totally sweet, because it’s the first time ever.

While all this is taking place, I’ve noticed that a handful of young moms have a completely different attitude. Glad I didn’t rip my hair putting that tree up! How can I get through the holidays without falling apart? Is there a way to do this without going crazy? I won’t pretend to understand the stress, the joy, or the  truly deep love these Moms are feeling during this season.

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I’m simply pointing out that these two situations make me laugh because they are so opposite, so different. It’s two separate stages of life. Neither situation is better or best, it just is. And we just need to rejoice because….life. We are living it, you and me! It’s not perfect. It’s totally different for each of us, but it’s here in front of us, all around us.

As people, we have to care for each other no matter the differing circumstances. We should be rejoicing with each other even when the joy looks different for all of us.

Yes, my life looks different than a mom’s life and that’s how it should be right now. My life looks different than the fiance’s life or the super wise Grandma’s life and that’s totally fine, because this is the stage I’m in right now. I’m going to count each moment, and live them to the best I can. I’m going to seek God and praise Him for this new season.

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So yeah, I can’t get trampled by the person who says “Oh just you wait, marriage goes sour. It won’t be like that forever. You’re just in the honeymoon stage. You’ll get over it.”

I accept that some people will find my posting of our first Christmas tree and new traditions totally cliche and cheesy. I acknowledge that seasoned individuals will look down on my life and sing that droll song of “Despair Is Coming”.

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I know that I’ll look back on these years and think of all the things I could have done better or differently, but I’m not going to drown in that. Instead, I purpose to document, enjoy, and learn through today.  I’m going to love my husband in the best way I know how this December 10th. I’m going appreciate that my family and friends are in different seasons of life and I’m going to rejoice with them when they rejoice!

My love and my whole life will most certainly look different 10 years from now, because I will have grown. My womanhood will be more mature and seasoned.

But I’m not there yet and I’m not expected to be! So, Merry Christmas from this still honeymooning, first time Christmas-ing, wide-eyed, excited (prone to make mistakes) wife who’s also learning to become a better woman.


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PS: I wrote this post in 2015. Right now, it’s over a year later and all I’ve gotta say is that it just keeps getting better & better!

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Previous Posts:

5 Signs You’re a Newlywed

Better than a Fairytale

 The Idea of Dear Charlie

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9 thoughts on ““Oh, You’re in the HONEYMOON Stage!”

  1. Lauren says:

    I really loved this! I get the whole condescending “honey moon stage” thing too, and I always feel kind of guilty for it. I try to avoid putting up too many lovey-dovey photos of our first Christmas together…but why?! I should definitely be comfortable in the newly phase – and I shouldn’t have to apologize for enjoying this stage in my life. So thank you for making me realize this was even something I was doing!

    • SierraFedorko says:

      First of all, so glad to have found your blog! Second of all, I’m so glad that this helped you realized that it is OK and totally awesome to embrace, enjoy, & share your current stage even though (let’s be honest) that can be hard with outside pressure & condescending opinions from others. I’m still learning how to be confident, joyful, and content right where I’m at. 🙂

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