Betha Bee: An Introduction of Sorts

This is not a book. Or a story. Betha Bee didn’t like to read, so she would be absolutely appalled to see her name here. And this is why this is called an unstory.


You must agree to always refer to it as such, and to never think of it as a book. Books are boring. At least that’s what Betha Bee thought. Betha Bee also thought her name was ridiculous. Who names their kid Betha? OF ALL THINGS. Why couldn’t it be Beth or Bethany? But she is stuck with the name Betha Bee, and this happens to be another reason that she wouldn’t want to see her story...ahem...unstory in any sort of print.

Betha Bee with wild hair and gangling arms skipped to the forest which was actually just 4 or 5 trees grouped together. So what? It could be a forest if Betha Bee imagined it to be one and so she did. Adults (namely teachers) liked to tell her to tone down the imagination. Think about that one for a minute! Tone down the imagination? There are just so many things wrong with the idea! Tone down and imagination are practically opposites. They are opposites.

Well, no bother. Betha Bee didn’t quite even know how to “tone down the imagination” so she never did. And her imagination, without any tone, but a lot of muscle took her to many places. Including this forest with the 5 trees. She sat in the middle of the forest –dense, green, and full of mystery (use your imagination, you’ll need it for this unstory)—and thought about life. Not life in the sense of anything serious.

Life in the sense of school, growing up, making new friends, maturing..ect. Everything was far off, so it wasn’t too serious yet. To most 10, 11, or 12 year olds that’s how life feels. Big enough to be real, and far away enough to still pretend stuff. As for Betha Bee’s age, it’s anyone’s guess. This is any unstory, so some things can’t be disclosed.

Betha Bee sat in the 5-tree forest and waited for her friends Funny Sunny and Bobby Blue. The names describe the personality of her two closest friends. Funny Sunny was just that…funny and sunny. And Bobby Blue (pardon anyone who has this as a first name) was boring and blue more often than not. Like I said, the names describe the personality, so I hope to never repeat myself in this respect.

Running toward the forest came Funny Sunny and trudging many steps behind came Bobby Blue. Funny Sunny sat right close to Betha Bee and began her salutation with as-sundry jokes that were really only funny to her doting parents. Jokes were not Sunny’s strong-point. The funny she was know for was getting into hilarious mischief as brightly and innocently as possible. She had a master’s degree for this, and she wasn’t even in college yet!

Bobby Blue barely managed a hello, and though quiet and often pessimistic in a trying sort of way, he always had a kind word to say (eventually), and a caring heart for his friends and family. He admired Betha’s confidence and vivacity for life, though she lacked incredible amounts of focus and disliked her nose to an unneeded degree. Ever since that one day in 5th grade, she thought her nose was too big like an elephant (referred by her as an elephantness nose). Bobby Blue didn’t agree, but found out quickly that if Betha was going to get over her nose insecurity, then she was going to have to do it herself.

This was the last day of Christmas break for all three, because all three went to the same school. It was a small town which are always considered more charming than cities, but can actually have a lot of problems…..contrary to every hallmark movie ever made (at least that’s what Betha Bee says her Mom says). Betha Bee didn’t have time to watch TV. She liked the outdoors far too much. Since today was the last day of freedom, these three friends knew they had to make the most of it.

And so they began the long trek through the 5-tree forest, and found a lake which they had found before, but always chose to see a little differently. Today, it was the ocean. Sunny suggested surfing on long pieces of bark and Betha Bee agreed. Bobby Blue was hesitant, and slowly followed the girls back into the dense 5-tree forest to collect bark surf boards of which he was skeptical could even float in water, let alone hold their weight!

Betha Bee was relentless in her energy and did not give Bobby much time to deliberate, because “Bobby, quick, right now. QUICK! Help me get this off the tree. It’s perfect for a surf board.” Perfect was not what Bobby Blue was thinking, but you all know him enough now to imagine his grumpy thoughts.

These very same grumpy thoughts were interrupted by Sunny’s “surf” board whacking him in the head. His thoughts turned sour faster than any gallon of milk ever could. After Bobby had helped Betha Bee find the perfect, cumbersome piece of bark to be her surf board, he scoured every tree to find his own. Just as he was reluctantly coming upon the surf board he’d resigned himself to, he heard Betha Bee–

“BOBBY, quick right now! QUICK! We found an old canoe. Forget about surfing, let’s go canoeing!” Bobby rolled his eyes. Now, another gallon of sour milk was added to his thoughts. Although he was upset, he wanted to make his friends happy…so he followed after them faithfully.

“What a good sport,” said Betha Bee to Sunny. “He’s always so fun to be around.” After the three had climbed into the groaning canoe, and the long sticks were passed around as suitable oars….the adventurous three took off across the ocean. Sunny was full of more jokes. Bobby was empty of all laughter. And Betha enjoyed the company of both.

The canoe, however, had different feelings for its young company. A small hole that the canoe had not been proud of in its youth, became it’s best feature as it allowed water to seep through! The three adventurers had no clue, and 2 minutes passed by before the old canoe groaned in laughter as Betha Bee shrieked “WE ARE GOING DOWN!”


Maybe it looked something like this? You decide. You’ve got the imagination!

“Every man for himself” flailed Sunny in her typical nonsensical way which would have made her friends laugh if they weren’t sinking. Bobby Blue felt sour milk thoughts and resigned himself to his dire fate. It was just a sour milk kinda day.

However, Betha and Sunny, in their efforts to rescue the canoe and their lives, rocked back and forth uncontrollably. The actions lead the canoe into throwing a bad temper of which it hadn’t thrown for years! The last time this very canoe threw a rocking fit, it tossed its passengers into the lake and was promptly abandoned forever.

This canoe just did not like the water, or people, or oars, or anything that a canoe was generally supposed to like.

To and fro.
To and fro.
Glug, glug, glug.

Water in.
Bobby blue out.
Betha and Sunny hang on!

The canoe threw its fit for awhile longer before Betha and Sunny could no longer keep their balance and joined Bobby Blue in the lake meant for ugly fish and overgrown seaweed. Betha and Sunny laughed until they couldn’t breathe and Bobby frowned until they started breathing again. He didn’t find this funny at all. The lake was freezing. It was January after all.

The groaning canoe was half-sunk before hitting the shoreline. Although no one could tell, it was quite happy to be free of the three hoodlums.

Betha easily swam to the shore and Sunny dog-paddled after her, looking comical with yellow stringy hair, a decade of freckles, and a big cheeky grin. The two girls waited on the shoreline for Bobby Blue, who took his sweet time as he always did when he felt out of his element. The girls were patient because they loved Bobby despite all his sour milk.

When he made it to the shore, he finally allowed small smile. “Maybe today wasn’t so bad, after all,” he thought cautiously. All three sat close to the water, looked out to that unwilling canoe, and weren’t quite sure how they were going to go back to school tomorrow.

Don’t forget to send Betha Bee an email about potential next adventures or any questions you may have for her!



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