The Life-Crushing Hours with Betha Bee

It was the second day with the substitute teacher who was a thundering, pudgy man with an ill-suited name of Mr. Squeak. If you can imagine it, Bobby Blue walked the entire distance to school with a cloud of 4 sour milk cartons floating above his head. Mr. Squeak was no picnic after all.

How much longer must they all endure is grouchy guffaws about history and science etcetera and so forth. Even Funny Sunny, who is always known for her cheer, was quite out of sorts. The most shocking part of all was that the three friends found themselves missing Miss Lemon…quite a lot…. often…in every class. A substitute teacher was supposed to be fun and games, but nothing was with Mr. Squeak.

As it always goes with students, their little quirks are magnified when a substitute teacher has the floor. In fact, without thinking about it, everything a student does is five times more annoying when a poor substitute teacher is asked to do the job.

Betha Bee was called to the chalkboard and she crushed not just one, but seven pieces of chalk. Funny Sunny tripped on a loose board and gave herself not one, but two black eyes. Bobby Blue fell asleep not once, but FOUR times during lectures. The entire one room schoolhouse was full of children with empty stares and mouths half open in boredom. Mr. Squeak was either very blind or very dumb. He droned on and on whilst guffawing about things that students are destined to forget. It is the nature of the classroom, as you know.

The 5-tree forest seemed like a faraway dream, impossible to ever know again! And in case like this, daydreams are almost impossible to dream, because there are certain teachers that crush the life out of every lecture. Mr. Squeak simply had to say, “Open your books” and all daydreams would be crushed and out of sight forever.

But there are a few in this world who are of the brave, imaginative sort that can push through the walls of guffawing boredom to the daydream world that does exist and always will. I’ve even heard rumor that adults can gain passageway if only they try!

And Betha Bee was of the brave, imaginative sort. Funny Sunny was too, but as always Bobby Blue needed some prodding. To rope Bobby Blue into the daydream world, Funny Sunny airplaned a note to his desk while Mr. Squeak remained clueless and engrossed in his lecture.

The note read “Are we in a spaceship? Check YES, NO, or MAYBE.” The note was airplaned back with a YES. Bobby Blue was always a sport when prodded. The sour milk dissipated and the fun began.

The one-room schoolhouse was the spaceship and the desks were astronaut suits. The chalkboard was the blackness leading to outer space and Mr. Squeak, I’m sorry to say, accidentally fell overboard and is suffering from acute adulthood. Acute adulthood is contagious and the symptoms are boredom, boredom, and boredom. The disease, of course, was not deadly as long as you made it through the critical  period (aka: any hours spent in school).

If you were still alive at 3 o’ clock, you were of the strong kind and able to withstand the disease! The desks flew every which way and the black abyss was explored. The students airplaned notes back and forth to keep clean from the disease, and all made it through the critical hours. Pudgy, grouchy Mr. Squeak continued his cluelessness and all was well and brought down to earth when “Mission Aborted” (otherwise known as “class dismissed”) was guffawed.

And all the kids, including the bravest of them all, ran into the sunlight, kissing the ground, tasting freedom, as they never had before. The last time they felt this was ages ago! (otherwise referred to as yesterday). And again the freedom would disappear in the horrible academic promise of tomorrow!

Well, onward!


The Betha Bee Dictionary of Words:

airplaned: the act of sending a note via a folded paper airplane

fyi: from now on any made-up words that need defined will be in pink & explained at the end of each un-story. 

Previously in the 5-Tree Forest: 

Other Encounters with School Daydreams

The Unfortunate Incident with a Canoe 

Glossary of Facts (in case you are clueless)

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