The first few months of marriage were full of learning to cook for two, getting to know more about each other, and trying to adjust to opposite work schedules. Even though life was full of busyness, we honestly loved every moment together!
Marriage is not what other people think of you, or what’s normal for other people. It’s about finding what his interests are, what makes him laugh, how to pray for him, what you enjoy most together, what a typical weeknight looks like for you together. Don’t worry about comparing your marriage to other marriages. No good will come from it!
Our marriage is more than I could have every hoped or dreamed! We are seriously best friends. We know each other so well, yet there are lots of new things we constantly learn about each other! Our favorite moments together are not spent out in a loud restaurant or going on some extravagant adventure (although those can also be tons of fun together), but they are rather spent in our home together with our two dogs.
We love to laugh together, watch scary movies together, analyze things together, talk about what we’re reading for devotions, and cook for each other. While we love spending time with our friends and family, the best times are just us at home!
Marriage is absolutely not like all the marriage books. Marriage is what you make it. Are you putting in the effort and time to put your husband above yourself (Phil 2:4)? Are you able to find joy in the day-to-day tasks and activities? Do you enjoy the quiet times together as much as events/dates/trips? Most importantly, is Christ the center of your marriage? Then your marriage will be BETTER than all those books.
I love that we are only more crazy about each other than ever before. I truly love my husband more now than I ever have! We still flirt, make each other laugh, learn new things about each other, and learn new ways to help the other grow. I have characterized marriage before as a “never-ending sleepover party with my best friend.”
We are still in our hardest season…opposite work schedules. While we have both failed at times to completely trust God and rejoice through my husband’s job search, we have been able to remind each other of scriptural truths we’ve learned to heavily rely on, pray for one another and ourselves, talk to some older couples and get some advice from them, and use this to help others going through a similar experience.
Often when there is a night we both have off work, we kindly express to others that we really just need that time together. We use this time to catch up on our week in more detail, tackle a home project together, or go on a date. I don’t know many other people who cancel plans to spend an evening just as a couple!
We pray for each other. We support each other. We take care of each other. We prioritize each other. We always hold hands, have our arms around each other, and cuddle. I love it! My husband has helped me be more patient, accepting of others, learn new things (e.g.: gardening, music, and so much more!), deepened my love for Christ, and become a better listener.
I want girls to know that—
Real love happens when God wants it to happen. That means that your life has to be surrendered to God and marked by a total commitment to Him first and foremost. Real love is amazing, but should be about your husband, not about what you get out of it. Real love is a beautiful extension of what Jesus has done for us.