The first few months of marriage were definitely a whirlwind of events. We traveled quite a bit which was awesome. We went on our honeymoon in Maui for a week and then we camped cross country from California to Georgia the next week. We then started our new lives.
It wasn’t that hard to adjust being married, since you are living with your best friend. Everyone told me that I’ll get over the “Honeymoon Phase” in a week or two. Isn’t that awful? Well, I didn’t let that happen. I woke up everyday with Ivan right next to me and I was thankful He was there.
The biggest expectation wasn’t of each other but more of how people would treat us as a married couple. We both expected to be treated the same (which would be nice), but everyone gave us space. Too much actually. It often felt like no one knew how to talk to us, even though we were still the same people.
Freeing: Being married helped both of us be who we are instead of feeling trapped inside. People say that now you’re “tied down”, which is true…but honestly I feel more free than I’ve ever been.
Party: Most people look forward to the weekend to party and relax . . . with Ivan and me it’s always a party! 🙂
Adventurous: I think the way we learn more about each other is getting out of our comfort zones and pushing each other. Whether it be stressful situations or fun situations.
We’ve noticed that at every family gathering the women and men start forming groups amongst themselves. The men have their own conversations while women talking about things. We like to be with each other and shake things up. We don’t really like the fact that they split up. Also, we have many different standards than both of our parents, which makes it difficult, sometimes, to carry on a conversation without offending anyone.
No one really gave any books or marriage advice. I just had a dream, and honestly, it all came true. Marriage is different for every single person. I mean marriage books are great and all, but depending on God instead of each other is key. Other than that, the two things that you need in your marriage is Love and Respect. Those two things will help you through everything.
We love having adventures! We got a puppy a few months back and he loves going on trips and adventures as much as we do. We love to go hiking through state parks and camping! Having a significant other to adventure with makes it that much more fun.
One of the hardest seasons was breaking my collarbone and having surgery for it. It was a really tough time because of work, church, travel difficulties, and of course, the pain. I think that is when we got closer as a couple, because we only had each other to lean on. Ivan was such a servant and helped me through every doctor appointment and literally every day.
Moving to Georgia. This was a hard season because it was basically us just fully trusting God, as we had nothing in Georgia. We had no jobs, we just knew that is where God wanted us to be. So, we went. We talked for months about the possibility, and God opened so many doors that we just said, “Let’s do this.”
We are experiencing real life together. Before ,as a dating couple, we wanted to show our best to each other. Now, we see the good side and the rougher sides of each other too. When you open up completely to someone, and they still accept you and love you, it not only deepens your love for them. It also helps you become a better person inside and out.
Marriage has helped me become more real. Growing up, I went through a lot of hard circumstances. Through that, I always kept my hurting heart on the inside and put out a happy- go-lucky persona. I did lean on God while going through those things, but you still need people to talk to. I hid everything from people. I was an Extrovert on the outside and an Introvert on the inside.
After getting married (and even while dating), I started opening up to Ivan. He helped me talk about things I hadn’t talked about in years. Being married has helped me realize that I am a person in need, and I do not have to fend for myself anymore. I can be weak. I can be open. I can be held accountable. I’m becoming a stronger woman now, because I am working through my struggles instead of ignoring them.
I want girls to know that—
Love is being at your lowest, yet your husband still picks you up and kisses your forehead, saying, “Everything is going to be alright.” Love is saying goodbye to your husband every morning, knowing he will be back tonight.
Love is trusting each other. Love is talking about your struggles and forgiving each other. Love is fun. Love is sweet. Love is letting your husband hold you when you’re hurting. Love is being open with each other. Love is sacrificing things to spend time with one another. Love is being weird together. Love is what life is all about.
Love is learning.