I have never felt so loved before. I come from a background of being adopted, and that is such a beautiful thing and something my husband and I value so much. He was even adopted too! But, the love I have for my husband and the love he has for me is unlike any other love I have ever experienced. If you want to know how Jesus loves us, get married, it is the truest, most beautiful example.
We love to do goofy things together, while we do enjoy the occasional lazy Saturday watching movies, we also enjoy getting out and finding things to do. We live in farm country so farmer’s markets and county fairs are so fun, plus we live close to the beach! We are big foodies too so grocery shopping trips are always done together and we love to cook together or explore fun new places to eat.
Is marriage anything like all those marriage books you read or were given before marriage?
No!! I laugh now at how much I poured over those books in college and before I was married. While some had very useful information that I use as a wife, the pictures of marriage that were painted were really looked at through rose-colored glasses.
Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I are both Christians, attend a wonderful church, and do acknowledge God as the head of our home, but far too often in those marriage books that I read it seemed that everything was taken care of and all you had to do was trust God and you would have this picture perfect marriage. Farthest thing from the truth.
When my husband and I were first married, we were very much in the honeymoon stage. Shortly after we got married we found out that we were expecting our son, so our roles of being just husband and wife changed a little as our mindset was towards our growing family. Once our son was born our love grew and our appreciation for one another and what we are able to do for each other deepened.
Love is more than physical affection and butterflies when your spouse walks through the door. It’s getting up at 4am to make your husband breakfast before work or my husband bringing me tea while I am on a conference call in my office. Sometimes, love is even getting up every time the baby cries at night instead of taking turns and letting your spouse sleep. We do still have those lovey-dovey sweet moments, but our love is more through practical actions and words and daily living.
I am naturally a very strong-willed, independent person. Getting married has taught me to depend on someone else and to ask for help when I need it, which was such a huge thing for me. It has also taught me so much about sacrifice. I don’t say this for pity; I say it because it is reality for me.When I married my husband I gave up everything, my dream job, a nice home, and many other luxuries to move to where my husband is stationed.
We have been married for a year and 3 months and I have had to learn to have patience in waiting to find a job and find contentment in going without many things. This is not a forever thing, I recently got a great job using my degree and I love it, but this is a now thing and finding contentment has been so big for me. Also, being flexible. I am a very organized person, I live by my planner, but of course marriage has taught me to be flexible and relaxed with change.
When my son was born my husband and I started talking about when we wanted to have our second child. When we found out that my husband would be deploying we knew that we wanted to grow our family before he left. At the end of the summer we found out that we were pregnant with our second baby, and we were so excited.
I made Dr’s appointments and we started getting the supplies to tell our parents. Shortly before I left to go home for a visit we miscarried. I have never felt such heartache before, but the love and support that my husband gave me was incredible. Together we grew as a married couple, we learned to value one another and our son even more than we had before. Not many people knew that we had been expecting, so it made the transition process a lot easier, but now we cherish our family and we view everything as a blessing.
I want girls to know that—
1. Love is not a feeling. It’s a daily choice.
2. There are ugly parts of love too. Sometimes, the disagreements and tension experienced in marriage is because of love, not because your husband hates you. It takes those parts to grow and strengthen you love for one another as well.
3. Love is not love without prayer. The greatest way that you can show your spouse that you love them is to pray for them. Pray for the easy things and for the hard things. Pray for character growth and for their job. Pray for everything!
4. You don’t “fall out of love” with your spouse, but yes there are days where you may not “feel in love.” Let me explain. Being married is your life. Besides your daily tasks and work and kids you are married, you come home to the same person every single day and some days you may not feel those butterflies when you see your husband. There is nothing wrong with that and it does not mean you don’t love them anymore. It is just a part of life!