Shelbi Talks Marriage | Part 1

Let me start with the wedding! I spent months and every waking hour dreaming and planning our wedding that when the day came, I literally could not process what was happening. I was in a daze until halfway through our dinner! I was NOT expecting that. We had a three year long distance relationship prior to getting married, so we started learning new things about each other immediately.

Elizabeth Wells Photography

The biggest “shocker” to me was figuring out what we both like to do together. As a long distance couple, we were so ecstatic to finally see each other that we didn’t care what we did as long as we did it together. When we were around each other all the time, we realized that we didn’t have mutual hobbies!

We were BROKE when we were first married, so we decided to buy a 50 cent frisbee at Walmart, and that would be our hobby. Instead of it being fun, we spent the time chasing the frisbee that the wind had tossed in the complete opposite direction- not fun!

Marriage has taught me that you cannot have expectations on someone else that you are also not willing to have on yourself. It’s not fair. Early on in our marriage, I noticed that everyday I was getting annoyed at Elijah for something he was did (example: random silly stuff like quoting a 10 minute scene from a movie by himself and then not tell me what movie it was… he would make me guess…). I let him know that I was annoyed- everyday!

Eventually (probably during a 10 minute movie scene monologue), I realized that I also can do “annoying things”, and he never gets annoyed with me- like I did with him. I thought about what it would feel like to be married to someone who was annoyed with me everyday. I would not want to be in that kind of a relationship, but I had created that situation for my husband. From that day forward, I try my best to filter my reactions and expectations on how I would like to be treated. 

My husband is my best friend! We laugh together, cry together, and literally do everything together. Last year, we actually team taught together in the same classroom the whole year! We miss that!

I do not get out of bed and see my husband off with a plate of bacon and coffee like I thought I would. Instead, my husband cuddles me and gives me a kiss before leaving for work every morning at 6:00 am. I wake up right when he leaves.

I support my husband by doing my best to work in his classroom once a week for a couple of hours. We also try to have lunch together during the week at least once. My favorite thing to do is surprise him with lunch at work.

When Elijah gets home, we eat super plain meals! I can cook, but we both like to eat clean and healthy-easy meals. We eat either chicken or steak with brown rice and a vegetables 75% of the time. We have a system down where we cut up the meat when we get home from the grocery store. We place 3 meals worth (dinner for two and lunch for Elijah) in a plastic bag with marinade, and we freeze it. In the morning, we take out one of those bags for dinner.

Some days we sit at the table and have fabulous conversations about our day, and other days, we just want to be together and NOT TALK. Being a teacher requires a ton of communication, and I understand if he comes home and just wants to watch a show with me. We try to have a show that we watch that both of us like. Right now we are watching The Black List on nights that we just want to relax. We also have an old-school movie rental business in our new town. That can be fun sometimes too! Elijah is WAYYYYY better at picking good movies than me!

Shelbi
Jacque Larsen

We both take responsibility for the house. We both cook, clean, shop, do laundry, mop- everything! We are a team!

We love to travel! We go on a trip at least once a month. We usually go to a city within 8 hours from us (Phoenix, Denver, Albuquerque), but we occasionally go further! We really love cruises. It’s a great way to travel for the money. We try to squeeze in a date every week.

Whenever we see a bright moving light in the air (promoting a business or event), we always find the place! It’s a lot harder than it sounds. One time it was a new Dominos, and another time it was a firework stand.

We have a cat! I looooooove my cat, and my husband tolerates her. Somehow, she loves him more than me, Ugh. We also kind of have a bunny. My sister, my brother, and I went to the fair, and there was a baby bunny in need of a home. We COULD NOT leave the fair without him. My sister didn’t tell my parents (she lives there…), and I didn’t tell Elijah (not my proudest wife moment). Anyway, Howard (the baby bunny) lived with us while I litter trained him, and now he lives with my brother. Its a sibling bunny.

We are avid budgeters! We took the class Financial Peace University a little over a year ago, and about a month ago, we knocked out all of our student debt, credit card debt, medical bills, etc…

We were debt free!!!

We just signed on our land to build a new house, so now that is the only debt we will have from now on. One secret to being able to stay on budget without feeling deprived is giving each other “spending money”. Each check we give each other an equal amount of cash to spend however we want (mostly Starbucks… haha).

We talk about the future and having kids together often, but we selflessly keep the other person’s goals in mind. We know that God could surprise us anytime, but we plan to wait until we are both in the position that we want to be with our education and finances…..even if that means we end up being “old parents”.

Who cares?!

Marriage is about working together to plan your future and build your life.

Read Part 2


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