We are just getting out of our hardest season. We went through something really difficult and it has had effects on both of us for quite a few months. It seemed that right as we thought things were better for us, it would all fall apart again and we would have a really hard fight (saying things we regret, being extremely selfish, etc.)
There were a few times when we were wondering if we would make it through this trial or not. We thought our relationship would never be the same as it was, but we knew it was God’s plan for us to stay together. I could see the devil using small stupid things to put wedges between us so we wouldn’t be as in-tune with each other, and thankfully, when I saw it and voiced it to Jon he agreed and pushed through things with me even when my temper got very bad.
We are still learning how to “fight well”, but that is only something we can do if we are both loving God and are filled with His spirit. I remember halfway through our last fight, I realized I had not talked with God that day, and was completely self-adsorbed during that fight.
It took me quite a while to swallow my pride, and finally realize that I had caused a small, little fight to become huge because of my selfishness. Jon and I are trying to pray together more, and read scripture together a lot more as well.
I have realized how much deeper love can be than just a “feeling”. Jon is an incredibly deep person, and I am more surface level (although thanks to Jon I am getting deep myself!). He has helped me understand that he really is “the one whom my soul loves”, to quote Song of Solomon.
When I am falling apart, he is strong. When he is having a hard day, I try to be there and be strong for him. Our love has deepened because we are trying to understand one another and genuinely want to please our spouse. This is also a great illustration & reminder of how we need to understand God, and then we will love Him more and want to please Him more.
The good stuff in marriage is—
Honestly for me, it’s the little things. Watching movies while cuddling, taking walks, catching random things like tadpoles, salamanders, fish, or bugs for our other animals. We both love reptiles. Jon has multiple snakes and I have a Chameleon. We are also major Star Wars, LOTRs, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Doctor Who and A Series of Unfortunate Events nerds (just to name a few).
We are constantly quoting movies and trying to stump one another about which movie the quote is from. Jon usually wins lol!
Don’t tell Jon that I’m saying I like this….I like having tickle fights that totally incapacitate me, but it ends with us holding one another and laughing at bruises I gave him by accidentally punching or kicking him.
I am very amiable (and I hate that I am!!). I have had people walk all over me and hurt my feelings more times than I can even remember. Since marrying Jon, I am able to actually stand up for myself and speak up when I have a comment. Not saying I have become obnoxiously opinionated, but he has helped me become a strong woman.
He helps me stay true to my word, confront people when they have wronged me and love people when they need loving. If someone has wronged Jon in some way, he will confront them and figure out what the problem is. I have become strong in that way too. Even thought I HATE confrontation, I know it is needed.
I want girls to know that—
Real love is not perfect. It is constant work, and it is constantly worth it! Jon and I have fights, but after our fights we are so much closer than we were before. The times I remember being the happiest with our relationship is post-fights.
You are going to fight & argue, because you are two different people with two different points of view. Maybe some things you don’t understand so you fight over them, but after “fighting” or talking about it, you can understand each other’s side of things and love one another even more because you are that much closer to them!