Healing isn’t always easy, is it? We find ourselves between pain and hope. The end feels far off…and sometimes, there is no end at all to see. Healing takes weeks, months…even years. And the healing we will know now is earth-bound. Our soul is whole, it is strong in the promise of heaven-home with God. But these hearts are often fraught with emotions and broken shards of devastating pain. It is not hopeless as we have God…but it isn’t Sunday school easy either.
There are seasons in which heartbreak feels continuous. And often the breaking is private…sometimes, it’s hard to know it’s happening until the tears break loose refusing to be pent up any longer.
And here you are….your broken heart in shards, fragments, or sharp pieces of dust. You lean into God and you feel nothing, but you choose to believe Him anyway. And in the believing, you find rest…and in the rest you know peace. Suddenly, hope is not unimaginable anymore. You feel love–God’s love–because He’s near and you know it.
And it’s even more beautiful than Sunday school easy.
So we walk through these seasons of continuous heartbreak, finding healing for every time there is shattering. There are days we are overwhelmed by grief or pain…often both. Could the fog be any denser? Could the air be any harsher? The heart breaks again.
And we find this earth-bound shattering easier to bear because we know God heals…and we know He draws near. And though our heart may beat numb, it beats into hope…because God is faithful and He pours out His grace and strength, so these sharp pieces of dust form worship. And worship brings song…and these songs to God breathe life and hope again.
Even when it’s not Sunday school easy.
After a particular season of these ongoing heartbreaks into hope, I was traveling home after the rain. There before me in the most vibrant, full, and beautiful colors was the rainbow. It wasn’t half a rainbow as I have been accustomed to seeing…in which I would glance and go on my merry way.
It was big.
It was whole.
It was right before my seeing eyes.
Absolutely full…the entire promise just lighting up the sky.
It had already been a good day for my heart…in fact, all the days before had been good days. I wasn’t feeling as bone-weary as before. My heart wasn’t in shards or little bits of grieving dust; it had experienced the wholeness of a near God…a God who heals and makes new…who has made 2017 the birthplace of hope not pain.
My heart-eyes know Him. I’ve believed Him even when I felt numb…when I felt nothing. But this promise in the sky brought tears to my eyes. My seeing-eyes, these earth-bound seeing eyes, saw His long-ago promise being fulfilled. (Genesis 9:11-16, ESV)
Right before my eyes.
I couldn’t stop staring. The tears filled up. My heart ,so used to breaking, began dancing within me. Here was God keeping a promise that my earth-bound eyes could see.
How much more will I marvel when I see God face-to-face! How many tears will fall when I see Him! A rainbow…a symbol that God keeps His promises had my heart dancing. There was no control for that kind of joy. None!
God keeps His promises.
I know it to be true with my heart-eyes…I know it to be true with my seeing-eyes.
I will always look back at 2017 as a hard season of life, but I won’t see this season without the breathtaking rainbow promise.
God does what He says He will do.
And these ashy hearts heal from breaks that feel hopeless and numb. This joy overtakes us as we see that God is faithful and He makes empty hollows whole with life.
This is 2017—
a hard season and a heart that found the hope and healing of God. And in the healing, there was pulsing hard joy in a dancing heart.
He does what He says He’ll do.
God keeps His promises.