The Dangerous “Christian” Ladder

Have you ever felt like there is a “Christian” Ladder you’re supposed to climb? You can be honest. I’ve tried to climb it. I’ve got frustrated friends who have tried to climb it. And we never really say it out loud, do we? But somehow, it’s yelled out pretty loud and clear

YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED to have purpose.

YOU NEED TO HAVE CHILDREN, if you’re going to be of any real worth.

YOU MUST MAKE GOOD KIDS HAPPEN to fully and truly “arrive”.


YOU MUST CONTINUE TO ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS AT ALL COST if you are truly hoping for your purpose to be fully realized.

But every time we enter the next season, we find it’s never enough to fill us up and satisfy our desires. We exhaust ourselves by killing ourselves just trying to climb a pointless ladder that God never built for us in the first place. Every time we attain the “next thing”, we strip that title and reach for more. It’s often about doing something more while also becoming the hero of our perceptions. We slap ribbons and trophies on certain seasons and consequently leave out thousands of women in the process.

Don’t believe me?

What about the single woman who’s living fully and freely in God’s beautiful plan? What about the barren woman who’s rejoicing, because God’s given her a heart spilling over with life? What about the single mother who’s walking closely with God and experiencing great strength and wisdom? What about the divorced woman richly blessed by God and fully surrendered to God? What about the empty-nester rediscovering the big life God has prepared for her?

When we act like being a wife and/or mom is the end all-be all, we alienate countless women. When we act like we have to achieve great things as a wife and mom, we also alienate ourselves from our true purpose.

Our entire purpose is wrapped in our relationship with God.

And this does not change whether you are single, barren, pregnant, a mom of three, divorced, an empty-nester, or widowed. There is no ladder to climb, there is only a God to intimately know. You cannot be left behind, because our God doesn’t work that way. He makes beautiful mosaics with His children, not ladder rungs. There is no next thing that will put your purpose into real effect. Your purpose is in effect right here, right now.

When you are walking with God, you are exactly where you are called to be.

The “Christian ladder” isn’t Christian at all. It’s made entirely of confusion and lies. God doesn’t place His children on a ladder for significance, He places them in His love because they are already significant to Him. And sometimes what we count as loss in life is actually God knowing that right here will be the best place to receive the fullness of His love.

You are a woman who God created. You are a woman with plans of God woven within you. You are a woman with an opportunity for the greatest kind of life, the deepest kind of joy. And this joy and life happens when you pursue a relationship with God. There’s no catch. There’s no fine-print. There’s no “next” ladder rung. There’s you and God. And He does not value you based on your marital status, your ability to bear children, your messiness as a mother, your trial-and-error learning as an empty-nester. God just values you. Period.

Your joy is not based on your place in life, it’s based in God who gives you life and is your life.

There is no next thing or higher ladder rung for you to reach. Your purpose is a relationship with God. God has not left you out or left you behind. And we are not called to climb ladder rungs; we are called to love God. Loving God can fully happen at any time, in any season or situation, through any loss or heartache, within any joy or suffering.

Know God’s love and love God in every way you know how…with your heart, your mind, and your soul. There is nothing better or more fulfilling than being a woman who loves God and is loved by God.

This is a story of great grace and rich purpose.

And it’s yours.



You Are Not Forgotten

You CAN Celebrate

One thought on “The Dangerous “Christian” Ladder

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s