The Song of the Weary

The song of the weary? There are no songs here. I can feel that your desperate cries are loud. I can see a heart that constricts in pain and turns far from the thought of hope. I can hear all that you do not say, for I have refrained from speaking too. The song of the weary? It just can’t be done…there’s nothing to be sung.

I have thought the same.

But the beauty in this raging war is that nothing is made into something and song-less shadows make way for the hope-shadow of His wings. Not all shadows are bad, and nothings don’t have to be hopeless.

The song of the weary is beautiful.

It sounds like morning prayers in the shower, and mid-morning cries for help. It is the pouring out of a heart before God. It is the honesty that comes when sharing the struggle with a friend. It is the humility of falling into grace over and over again. It is the darkness that reminds you that there is the beautiful opposite named Hope.  Continue reading

Living a Full Life with a Half Heart

Dear, dear friend,

You are close to my heart , although I may not know you and perhaps never will. I am sure we have walked in the same shoes, waited in the same seasons, endured the same pain, danced in the same joy, and relished in the same great gift of good times.

It’s easy, I know, to get caught up in life, in all the little things that will make it better. It’s easy to say I’ll be just the happiest when I have thisIt’s a trap, my dear. Because we have the chance to be in the happiest season right now.

Nothing about your life has to change, it’s that volatile heart…that wayward organ that lurches to & fro that needs changing. Your life is 100% full as is, you heart I’m afraid is beating at 50%. What about this, you say. And what about this, you think. Oh I know, my dear…for I have thought the same things and felt the same feelings.

And then I fall into the Psalms and it says, “I will praise God, as long as I have being.” Having life is reason enough to fall into joy and utter praise. Life is enough. And everything in it, every possible piece there or “missing” is exactly what I need to pull me nearer to God. I am finding that the mountaintops are more than I deserve, and the valleys are not places of despair, but places to hope in God.

Even so— Continue reading

This Place Is Called Fear

From Audrey Assad’s song “I Shall Not Want”, my heart was moved. I had never quite thought of it in this way and my eyes became wide open. The words were simple, and still cut deep into my soul with comfort…not pain.

“From the fear of death or trial. Deliver me, O God”

The realization came so suddenly. I can get so wrapped up in fearing the trial, in awaiting the valley, and anticipating the hard times that the trial isn’t the issue…the fear of it is. I am scared to go through something. I am scared to walk the valley. I am scared of the dark.

But God is bigger!

And He is more.

For all the pain in life, God has comforted and thought of me. I have nothing to fear. Yet here I sit…so wrapped up in myself, so ready to sink beneath the weight, and drown in the future that I fear the struggle.

Life isn’t something to fear, BECAUSE God is with me. Every valley is bearable, and every mountaintop is more celebrated. The words in the song were so simple, and yet broke into this tired heart! Continue reading