El Roi; The God Who Sees

El Roi, I said as I walked toward the white gate.

El Roi, I whispered as I knelt down where so many frustrated tears had been cried.

El Roi, I thought as I read the book of Mark.

And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years….

El Roi.

And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had….

El Roi.

And was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse. 

El Roi. Continue reading

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Living with Chronic Pain

I come to this topic carefully as many people have suffered chronic pain, and pain is so diverse. I just wanted to write the practical things that I have learned throughout my four years of living with chronic pain. I have written more personally about my journey through chronic pain many times. Those posts are primarily from my heart which will be linked below.

But today, I just wanted to give some practical advice on how I have dealt with chronic pain. This is not an extensive list, and I understand that chronic pain is so very different for everyone. I just hope to be an encouragement to those who suffer in this way by sharing with you what I have learned. Maybe you can apply some of these practical tips to you life.

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Without further ado, here we go!

 I realized that focusing on the pain will not solve the pain.

We need to stop making pain the main event. It is in our life, but it is not our life. Believe me, I understand the whole pain thing. It’s real and it isn’t fun. Making your friends understand why you can’t participate is hard. Skipping work one too many days is not as relaxing as it sounds. Throwing up, having migraines, experiencing intense stomachaches, and extreme fatigue is exhausting emotionally. BUT we can’t make it the main focus of life.

Do what you know is best for your body. Say no when you need to. Don’t be ashamed to tell the truth about your pain, but don’t make every conversation about your pain and don’t live as though your pain is the main event. It’s not.

I stopped believing that chronic pain is all BAD.

Too many articles and too many people focus on how awful chronic pain is in their lives. They wallow in the limitations and the hardship that the pain brings. They lose themselves in finding ALL the things that can make it go away. Chronic pain isn’t bad.

It’s not.

A proper view of pain makes all the difference. Chronic pain has helped me realize my weakness without Christ. Chronic pain has grown my compassion for others in pain. Chronic pain has shown me my incompleteness in self & my wholeness in Christ. Chronic pain has sunk me so far under that I realized the value of life and the reality of death. Chronic pain is in my life and I have learned countless things from it. I am thankful, truly thankful to God for my chronic pain.

Quit believing that chronic pain is only a bad and terrible thing. Recognize God’s strength & grace while experiencing this pain.

I started asking other people how they were doing.

Strange, right? I am the one in pain! Why ask others how they are doing? Isn’t it you and me that are hurting so much that we can barely move? OK, let’s just rewind.  I am not the center of attention no matter how much pain I am experiencing. Even you are not the center of attention no matter how much you are hurting. It’s not about us.

It’s NEVER about us.

We may be in pain, but that doesn’t mean we should stop caring for others.

Ask other people how they are doing, especially when you are in pain. It teaches you to actively take the focus off of yourself and your pain. You may even find that others are hurting. You may even see that there are many people with chronic type pain or even pain similar to yours. Your compassion will grow for others. You will think less about yourself and how you are doing.

I stopped believing the lie that I must be half a person.

I am sure many people with chronic pain have felt lower than life, less than human, so sick you cold barely think or move. I have. Then I began to believe the lie that I must be half a person. I’m not good enough. I can’t exercise. I can’t do what others can do. I have to work less. I have to sleep more. I have to take legitimate sick days.

Guess what? All of these things just mean that I am a human with limitations. Limitations aren’t bad. Limitations can actually be really good! They have helped me realize my humanity, my weakness, and my inability to live on my own. They bring me to God’s strength. Limitations carry me to His throne when I am too proud to do so myself. Everyone, even those without chronic pain, have limitations. They just look different than mine!

Recognize your limitations. Find why they are helpful in your life and be thankful for them.

I found a couple of friends who deal with chronic pain.

Chronic pain is such a common problem that this shouldn’t be too hard for anyone. I have  several friends that I keep up with regularly that suffer chronic pain. My friendship with these people doesn’t give me license to complain with them. These friendships build a community of encouragement and prayers. We ask each other how we are doing, we understand the tears, we laugh about the careless comments of others, and we share success days that we barely had any pain. And we remember again  all of God’s goodness. It is refreshing and beyond helpful to have these friends.

Find friends that suffer in the same way you do. Encourage them and be encouraged by them.

I realized that everyone has a form of pain.

It was truly life-changing when I realized that everyone is suffering in some way. The weight of my physical pain was another person’s emotional pain. Everyone is chronically dealing with something difficult in their life.

You are not the one and only soul battling this thing called pain! Don’t live and act like you are the only one. Countless people are suffering. Find them, pray for them, love them, and encourage them.

I write these simple points to help others who are in chronic pain. These are the most practical things that I have learned so far. By applying these to my life, my view of chronic pain has changed drastically. I am not perfect. I fail every day. I get discouraged. I get frustrated. Then I remember God’s goodness, His strength, His sacrifice for my soul, and His purpose for my life.

I am curious now.

What have you learned while suffering chronic pain? I want to hear from YOU what has helped you most, the lessons you have learned, and how God has shown Himself mighty in your life! Leave your answers in the comments. There are so many of us out there and this post is intended to help us stand together and build a friendship bonded by this thing called chronic pain.


If you would like to read about my journey through pain, the ups & downs I faced, and the darkness that I felt, you can read that here. If you would like to read why I stopped worshiping my pain, then just click here.

This Is Vulnerable: Part 2

Last summer, I wrote the first part of my story. If you haven’t read that yet, click here to read the beginning of my journey.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI am excited about this part of the story, and I know it must be written. Because, this part of the story shouts to the sky of God’s mighty power, His glory, and His unending love for me. This part of the story will still amaze me when I’m old and gray. This part of the story is more joyful than I could have ever imagined. This part of the story has become a resting place in my Valley of pain.

Since last summer, my health has steadily become worse. The days of constant pain were far greater than those in my senior year. Living every day became the hardest thing for me to do. My body was tired, and my heart worn.

There were days that I was overwhelmingly frustrated, and sometimes very sad. Every couple of weeks, I would be sick with something, because my immune system was weak. I would be over the trash can throwing up, unresponsive with a migraine that took me out of life for 24 hours, or just stuck in bed because my body was unable to function well. I spent the year in and out of sickness along with the never-ending presence of chronic pain. Continue reading