Come as You Are to the Table

Hearts full of life, heavy with grief… these fearful, crippled aching bodies that could be whole if only–

arms were spread wide open and weary eyes looked up! Our dark, cracked table is adorned with silence, and all that lies on top are scattered eggshells that we’re all told should never have to break.

The table lies dark because we’re all hiding, all afraid, all ashamed, or all just aching tired. Scrape away the egg-shells scattered at your place, because if you want to be whole, then you’re going to have to break. Don’t be gentle. Don’t be soft. Abandon what you hide behind and– Continue reading


Reflections of a Falling Heart

victory 2

 I told myself to count the things that were different after I had surgery. I want to remember every bit of recovery. The tears have fallen so freely since April 2nd. I still can’t believe that I’m not fighting this battle anymore. I’m done calling doctors and done making appointments. I’m done filling out paperwork for this particular pain. I’m done. And God has provided. He has seen! El Roi.

I don’t tire of this Name. I begin my prayers to Him with El Roi.  But a couple weeks after surgery was complete— Continue reading

Better Than a Fairytale

victoryAside from feeling that someone cut me open and had a fight with my insides, I’m feeling great! Still amazed that this surgery came to pass. I think my God is pleased to know that I am still in wonder, still in amazement at the miracle He worked. I won’t try to describe to you the wads and wads of red tape that I (and everyone who helped me) had to work through to just get to where I was last Thursday. We will just start with the phenomenon that I finally had a surgeon!

So as the responsible adult that I am (HA), I decided to schedule two appointments. The first for a general rundown of my diagnosis & the second for a possible surgery if we got all the paperwork done in time. Of course, it would be stretch to do all that in the space of a week. However, I had finally learned two lessons when working with all things medical.  Continue reading