A Story That’s Better Than Mine

It is a lie to believe that every woman has everything she wants, with all her dreams fulfilled, and all her longings resolved. Isn’t it easy to view the world this way? Full of women who have everything, the best of the best, and the perfect kind of life one could only wish for. I am delusional, and even when I know the truth—the reality that all women are tangled messes, I still dig for more and believe the lie that I have fallen short, because my expectations have returned empty.

I assign myself the story that I think is best and I hope that every day will live up to the life I have vainly created. Most days fall short, deepening the self-inflicted sorrow, widening the chasms of truth. I tear myself apart with my longings. And it is not that dreams and desires are wrong, it is that I want them in my time while strapped down with my expectations.

I have believed the lie that I know what’s best for my life. I have fallen into the trap that my way is the only way, and if God can fit into my little box, then I can be happy fulfilled, and successful. Not only do I want what’s best for me, I want my best to be better than everyone else too. Continue reading

5 Reasons Emotions Are Important

Let’s talk emotions, because they are important!

Unfortunately, people have probably made you guilty for feeling them. But feelings are helpful even as they can be deadly and destructive! I wanted to take some time to encourage every young woman (and man!) who finds themselves with a pile of emotions.

1. Emotions are a necessary part of living life.

You can’t avoid them! They are here and we have to address them. Don’t stuff your emotions down deeper and deeper so they can’t be felt. If you don’t deal with your emotions, you won’t live life well.  Own up to your emotions (both the good & bad) and respond to them. You cannot move forward if you don’t address the emotions in this life.

I’m not saying you should let emotions control and define you, but I am saying that emotions need to be felt, responded to, and dealt with. It won’t always be easy, but stuffing them away and cutting them out of your life will harm you and others around you.

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Dirty Windows & Grace

I saw the dirt. It disgusted me. How could she stand there in her house and let her window look so awful? I couldn’t imagine letting mine collect all that grime.

I couldn’t help but stare as the woman struggled to care for her house. She vacuumed and dusted. She wiped down the counters and made meals. She took out the trash and she smiled at all those who came into her small home. What hypocrisy! Her window stood neglected while all else was tended.

I stared as she fell on her knees in grief. I watched her scream and rail against the walls, but then grow quietly peaceful as she looked toward heaven. I saw her dance when the good news came and I watched her cry when hard news brought its loss again.

I vigilantly watched her life, but I could not ignore that dirty window. I saw everything through the smudges, the dirt, the trash, and the very things I would never neglect to care for. Even so, her genuine heart welcomed person after person and she served them with such love, but that window tainted everything for me. Continue reading